


Before the End

by Acaranna



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 02:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7080526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acaranna/pseuds/Acaranna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vaelen had just gotten the bad news, so he actually didn't want to see Dorian. And yet it is what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before the End

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vaelen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaelen/gifts).



> This is for my Darling girl, [tevinity!](tevinity.tumblr.com) She's Vaelen on here, so don't be confused.^^  
> She is such a treasure! Not just because she did the beta-reading^^

The light from his mark doused the room into an eerie green hue. It crackled every now and then, lighting up underneath his clothes. This time the light had almost reached up to his elbow. If he was to believe his healers, then it would spread even more until it would reach his heart one day. He had no idea how far off that day was. Maybe a couple of months, if he counted the time it had taken to grow from his hand up to his elbow.

His healers thought that using his mark to close the rifts dimmed the growing which gave him more time. But the pain grew, each time he had to use is anchor and he didn’t know if he could stand it getting worse. Right now a potion against the pain was making it bearable but eventually those would stop working as well. He sighed and fell back onto the bed. His gaze grew unfocused while he stared at the ceiling. It didn’t hold the answers to his plight but at least it kept silent and stayed in place so he could focus some of his thoughts into the direction he needed them to. Which was finding a way to close the newest rift.

A knock on his door pulled Vaelen from his thoughts. He called out for them to enter and he pushed up onto his elbows to see who would disturb him in the middle of the night.

„Amatus?“ Dorian‘s voice, unusual soft and hesitant, was the first thing that greeted him. Vaelen bit back a sigh. He wanted to be alone right now. Yet he moved to sit properly on the bed when the mage made his way up the stairs. His lover was the last person he wanted to take his dark thoughts out on. So he plastered on a smile which immediately fell when he saw the look on Dorian’s face.

”You talked to the healers,“ he stated flatly. Dorian’s shoulders rose a little in defence but he didn’t deny it. Vaelen sighed heavily and fell back onto the bed with his eyes closed. He should have known, really. Not because Dorian was nosy, which he could be, but because he knew how he would react. To everyone outside their room, and sometimes even inside it, Dorian was the snarky Tevinter mage, who always had a quip ready to been thrown. His sarcastic remarks often lightened the mood when it threatened to turn sour.

But the other times, when it was the two of them, Vaelen treasured even more. Because Dorian didn’t try to be the better one. He laughed freely, told him stories of his childhood and even allowed himself to be seen without any primping and make-up. Vaelen loved those moments, when Dorian’s hair was still tousled from sleep and his eyes were free from the kohl he liked so much. They made him feel special.

„I’m sorry, I just..,“ Dorian broke off and a moment later the bed dipped on Vaelen‘s right side. „I think, I just needed to know.“ There was no snark now. No sarcasm or even laughter. Dorian sounded as defeated as Vaelen felt.

„I would have told you,“ he said, knowing that it was weak. Because he wasn’t sure if he actually would have told him. Or if he would have waited until there was no time left to do anything.

„No, you wouldn’t have,“ Dorian replied, as if he had read his thoughts. Vaelen opened his eyes and looked at his lover. The strong shoulders, that usually steadied him so much, were pulled forward and the proud head hung. „You would have waited until there were only days or even just hours left before you would leave me. And I’m not sure that you would have told me, even then. Do you think that not knowing will make it easier?“

Vaelen‘s heart hurt, worse than his arm, when he heard the defeat in Dorian‘s voice. He felt selfish, once again.

„Dorian, I...“ he said, pushing himself back up again. The least he could do was face the man.

„No, amatus, don’t say you‘re sorry. You have no reason to be,“ Dorian protested with a tired sigh. He knew what Vaelen wanted to say. „You have every right to be selfish in this case. The whole world tries to pull you into different directions with nobody really carrying how you feel and what you lose. Which is also understandable, because the human nature is selfish and they are scared.“

Vaelen thought that this was a little hard for a judgement but he wouldn’t say it out loud. He knew that it would only end in an argument he was too tired to have. And if he was honest with himself - it felt good to have someone on his side, even if said someone went behind his back to talk to his healers.

„But you’re not human, amatus,“ Dorian sighed and leaned backwards until he himself was flat on his back. Vaelen followed suit, turning onto his side and pulling up his feet from the floor while he did so. Once he was curled up, Dorian turned his head to face him. He looked worn out. Exhausted.

„No, I’m not,“ he stated softly, his irritation from before turning into dust. He couldn’t really blame Dorian. When the mage had been poisoned and the antidote had taken days to be prepared, he himself had doubted everything the healers had done and asked every question under the sun. Until both Cullen and Bull had taken him out of the infirmary.

„I thought about cutting it off, when all of this is done and over with,“ Vaelen said softly, when his mark flared up again and coloured Dorian‘s face green. His eyes glittered wetly but neither of them acknowledged it. „If I’m still alive then.“

„You will be, amatus,“ Dorian promised, voice heavy with love and fear. „You will be, because I’ll be at your side when the time comes. I’ll be there to make sure you will win and afterwards...“ He broke off and swallowed thickly. „And afterwards I’ll make sure that the healers do their job right. You will live. Because I‘m human and I‘m too selfish to give up on you.“

Vaelen swallowed heavily and closed his eyes. The tears that he hadn’t allowed to fall, when he got the news of how this mark would ultimately be his demise, threatened to fall now. He took a deep breath and slowly moved closer until Dorian’s arms wrapped themselves around him.

Maybe Dorian was right, maybe he would live through this and maybe he would only lose his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment either here or [here!](acaranna.tumblr.com%5Cask)


End file.
